Last week, I brought myself to the poetry table. The poetry table is made up of mostly published poets. I am one of the exception. However, in my defense, the poets have about ten more years of serious writing experience on me….at least. I was particularly nervous at the last workshop because my mentor always asks us what is new before we dive into the page. My answer would have to be about starting The Writer’s Midwife and creating my workshop which starts on Monday. I realize that I am starting this workshop without the “credibility” that most other workshop facilitators have. I was afraid that my mentor would mention that and I would have to answer to what I fear most: “I am not worthy to teach others.” Yes, this is a negative tape that plays inside my head. Yet another insecurity to add to the list.
In reality, this is not what came from my mentor. Instead, he inquired about my lack of confidence and then proceeded to inform me that I could reach those people who he could not. In fact, I could reach people who most published authors may not. Published authors are on a pedestal to those who are not published whether they like it or not. This is part of my journey. I was so intimidated by published authors and the fear that I may never be accepted in print in the literary world, that I literally shut down and quit writing. This lasted only for a time, but it is what propelled me to start The Writer’s Midwife in the first place.
I do not want people to ever feel the way I did. If they do, I want them to have the tools with which to combat their inner critics. The world needs writers and the world needs stories and if I can make a few people in the least feel that they are safe to write, then I have reached my goal. Writing extends way beyond the published world. Writing is good for your health, therapeutic and exercises the imagination. There is nothing more exciting than going to a blank page and having a character or a poem speak to you when you did not even know such a thing existed. Writing is rewarding.
My workshop begins on Monday! I am very excited to see where people go in their writing journeys. I may not be published, but I have been in the darkness. I now carry the flashlight.